|With mommies I met online who are now my friends:Jen CC Tan of Next9 Baby,|
Michelle Lim of My Mom-Friday,Martine De Luna of Dainty Mom, Paola Loot of Mommy Treats,
Eli Ypon of The Painter's Wife, Rone Valles of Mothering Earthlings
and Neva Arboleda-Santos of Manila Mommy
When my mother died, I was deluged with love from all over the world. When I got pregnant, I had strangers from all corners of the earth sending me gifts and support and encouragement. And now that Vito's here, it's strangers who care more about him than my own family.
That's true. My entire pregnancy, my father saw me just twice. My siblings maybe less than five times. My friends threw me a lovely baby shower, and showered me with gifts. I got one gift from Papa and that's to congratulate me when I got pregnant because my father thinks women who aren't married and/or have no kids are useless. I got none from my siblings. Vito's 9 months old now and my father and siblings have seen him maybe five times. When they do ask about Vito, they do so in this manner: "Hi, how's the baby? Hey, we need money."
It's not that I'm asking for gifts; in fact, in my life, I've been so used to never getting anything from people who supposedly love me that when gifts from all over Manila, and then all over the Philippines and then from countries like Germany and France started arriving on my doorstep, my first impulse was to ask myself, "What do these people want from me?" It took me a while to understand that you just want to make me happy.
I'm glad I got pregnant. You see, I have a negative view of the world. Yes, despite my seemingly chirpy tone, I am quite the pessimist. I always expect the worst to happen, the worst from people, the worst everything everywhere.Well, with a family like that, can you blame me? But I'm not angry at them anymore. I'll tell you why.
I became a mother. And things are changing every day for me. My pregnancy and my mommy adventures have opened my eyes to the beauty of the human soul, to the fact that you don't need to share the same blood to truly care for someone, and that generosity and affection can spring from a stranger's heart.
I entered motherhood with trepidation, especially since I didn't have a mother to guide me through this. Well, you know what, all you fellow mommies have been a mommy to me. You chatted with me late into the night when I was brimming with questions about taking care of a newborn, held my hand virtually as I waded through post-partum depression, told me about what diapers to buy, how to breastfeed, what food to eat to aid my milk production, sent me food and malunggay leaves, sent me stretchmark oil and so many other preggy mommy and baby things, sent me books and links, told me how to get a baby to sleep, told me that it's okay to be awake with the baby and just tell him my dreams for him, assured me that motherhood may be hard but we're all the better for it. You have been a mother to the motherless. And my heart is comforted and grateful for your love.
Thank you. God bless you all.
*Thanks, Mom-Friday, for the pic! Mine was madilim kasi.