PARTNER

Thursday, March 5, 2015

From BDJBox: 7 Tips to Survive Postpartum Hair Loss

PPHairLoss1
I’m in the midst of losing my hair. Lots and lots of it. Handfuls. Every single day.

Since this is the third time this has happened to me, I’m not upset anymore. I know losing hair after giving birth is normal and temporary. You see, we all lose hair every day but when we’re pregnant, our increased estrogen levels stop this daily shedding. That’s one of the few things I love about pregnancy—my extra thick, super lush hair!

After we give birth and our estrogen levels drop back to normal, however, all the hair that we should’ve lost now fall out. So if we lose 100 strands a day, then multiply that by 365 days (shedding starts at 3 months postpartum so 9 months of pregnancy plus 3 months postpartum), that means we’re suddenly shedding 36,500 strands! It’s so scary! Nothing we do will make that hair stay put, so let it go. Say this again and again: “This is temporary!”

Anyway, new hair grows to replace the loss so you’ll just have to be patient. Right now, I’m 6 months postpartum as I type this [I'm 8 months postpartum as I publish this!] and I can already see half an inch of new baby hair all over my scalp. Hooray! While I wait for all my hair to grow back, let me share with you how I’m dealing with postpartum hair loss:

1. Eat healthy.
While postpartum hair loss is normal, don’t neglect your health. Eat food rich in iron, protein, Vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids. You can’t do anything to keep your extra hair, but you can help new growth by eating a healthy diet.

2. Be extra gentle.
Now is not the time to style heavily. Skip blowdrying, teasing, curling, straightening, coloring and, if you can help it, even brushing! When you do need to tame your locks, use a wide-toothed comb and comb gently starting from the tips then going higher with each stroke.

3. Use products that control hair fall or care for your roots.
You’re already losing hair from the roots so use products that strengthen the hair shaft. This way, you won’t lose even more hair from breakage. I also use products that care for the scalp and encourage hair growth to help the new baby hairs growing.

For the rest of my 7 tips, visit BDJBox.com (click here!).

Hi readers! This month, I'm editing both my blogs to prepare for migration to Wordpress. So I won't be blogging much (except for my sponsors!). Because I don't want you to have nothing to read, I'm republishing my articles in BDJBox.com here. Enjoy my beauty news and reviews! 

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Sunday, March 1, 2015

The lies we live for our kids

Watched this heart-wrenching video a few weeks ago, when all my kids were sick:



I wanted to share it with you then (I already wrote a draft), but the physical and emotional exhaustion of taking care of my sick boys made me share a bit too much and I was also extra depressed. So I saved it as a draft. I looked at it every week after and felt it was too depressing to publish. I think I can edit it now.

Watching that video reminded me of my mother. I always think of Mama not eating lunch for weeks because we needed new shoes. She never told us she didn't eat. I found out from someone that I don't remember now, but after that I never asked for new shoes or new clothes or anything new because I always think if I ask for something from Mama, she will have to make a sacrifice again.

Although I'm now living a life that's a lot better off than my mother's, I still haven't really asked for any gift for the past how many years. I keep thinking that money can go to the kids or to my hubby. Small sacrifice compared to my mother's, I know, she who never had anything at all. But I'm a mother now and there are certain things I understand now. Like giving up the things you want so you can give more to your family.

Then there are other things I'm now confused about, like honesty.

Over at my Instagram account, I coined a hashtag, #authenticmama. I believe in being completely honest. But now that my kids are older, I find that I can't be completely honest with them. I can't say these things anymore:

"I am so tired. I don't want to play. Just watch TV while Mama rests."
"I work so hard to buy you your toys and you don't even take care of them!"
"I really should be working. Instead I'm here doing crafts with you!"

But I do. I have. I'm awful.

My boys getting a scolding. They looked so cute looking contrite that I laughed and hugged them after I took this photo. They were so relieved and happy, they forgot they were strangling each other over chocolate just a few minutes before this!

Do they really need to know how I feel? What do my real feelings make them feel? Rejected, resented, guilty. But should I hide how I feel like how my mother hid what she did? When I found out about her not eating lunch, that didn't make me feel all gooey and loved. I felt bad. I don't think anyone wins with either the truth or with the lie.

I've also been asking my husband certain things like, "When do we tell the kids about skeletons in the family closet? Do we tell them why we don't like certain people? Do we tell them our love story, the uncensored version?" Vince says everything has a time and place. So I'll wait. But it's just weird for me, for example, when Vito wondered this, "Where is the mama of [certain relatives]?", and I have to say through my teeth, "Oh, she's somewhere. She sends them money. Don't think about it," when what I really want to say is, "She ran off with another man. That's bad, but if I told you the whole story of why she left, you're going to believe that evil truly exists in this world." So maybe let's keep that a secret.

I don't have any answers here. I've only been a mommy for 4 years. I really don't know anything. All I've known all my life is I should live my truth, whatever the consequences. But now that I have a family, I now also know that if the truth hurts, then maybe I should keep my mouth shut. Maybe I should even lie.

I don't know how I can live with myself if I lie to my kids. What do you do, mommies?

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Saturday, February 28, 2015

How my life is possible

"I don't know how you do it."

I get this all the time. All. The. Time.


Whenever people find out I have three little boys and no yaya, they look at me like I have three heads. The answer is simple: I am mostly at home, I have a husband who also works from home, and we have a maid who does the cooking and cleaning. That means there's three of us taking care of three kids. If we really need to leave the kids because we both have errands or work, we leave them with my mother-in-law or I ask my sister to come over and babysit. There's really nothing so incredible about how we do things!


I don't know why people wonder about this since I think we all make our own unique situations work. For example, people think we're against yayas. Oh no, we love yayas! It's just that we don't need yayas now. If my husband and I had to work 8-5 jobs, then we'd hire yayas.

All moms do the same thing! I'm not so special. We all do what we need to do to make life move forward. Some of us moms can take care of many kids single-handedly. Some of us moms need more help, and I will never look down on moms who have a yaya for each kid. We do what we have to do to stay sane! Some of us need family members every day to help out, and then there's some of us who like to do things on our own. Most of us have yayas, drivers, maids. Many of us rely on family. Some of us depend on technology.